its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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