I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
True strength comes from lack of pants
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.