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• (805): View more from California

  In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here

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• (325): View more from Texas

  Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?

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• (386): View more from Florida

  New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.

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• (714): View more from California

  He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.

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