Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.