I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.