Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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