i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
