I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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