exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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