I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
