We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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