They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
