3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
