No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize