marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
