somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
50% drunk capacity currently
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
