I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
