What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
