i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
