She said her name was "party"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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