it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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