I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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