The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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