return my video game
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
