Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
