She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
