your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
