Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
