The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
