His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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