i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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