I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
