Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
