My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Barsexuality is the new black.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize