did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
