I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think i got beer on your cat.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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