i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
