You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
