only you would photoshop your dick
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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