We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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