9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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