I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my being single is dangerous.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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