Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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