oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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