Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
