too bad you live with your parents still
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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