We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
