You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the day after is always just damage control
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
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I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize