I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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