My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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