Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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