i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
