that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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