i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
