u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
