turn off your phone and go to bed
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.