Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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