Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
