i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun