just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
is wine microwaveable?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize