she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
