I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
