11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
