they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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