Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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