she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
