He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
