I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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