Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
