Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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